Category Archives: Personal Growth

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Life in 3D: Which “D” Are You Living?

Jim Rhon once said  “We now have enough evidence to conclude that it is possible to design a successful life.”   I once would have scoffed at that idea.  I now think that statement has a lot more truth in it than most of us realize.   Although he and many others of this opinion are quick to add that a lot of grace is required (and it clearly is), even a cursory study of the successful would demonstrate that common elements undergird their success.

This is the 3rd year I’ve signed up for Michael Hyatt’s 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever goal setting course. It’s really given me a lot of traction the last two years and I highly recommend it. This year, in addition to the great 5 step process Michael walks you through, I got some insight into something I wasn’t expecting. That something was a simple and general classification system of how people approach life.  I find it’s a very valuable heuristic because:

  • It appears to be consistent and aligned what you can readily observe in the real world.
  • One category is consistently associated with those who succeed.

Because success can mean a lot of things and at least a bit different for everybody, I need to pause here and  make sure the waters are clear before going any further.  I’ll define success as  “making measurable progress in the pursuit of a meaningful goal or cause.”  That definition makes success more of a process than destination and allows for whatever results from the process.

There are 3 basic ways to approach life, but only one is likely to get you what you really want. Here is the 3-level classification:

  1. Drift– The Drifters approach life without a plan. They react to what comes, good or bad, and just go with the flow. They often wake up years later (sometimes a lot later….too late in fact) realizing they never wanted to end up where they find themselves at.
  2. Driven– The Drivers overcorrect. They are driven to make progress and achieve goals, but usually in just one or two areas of life. And they achieve their success at the expense of the rest—often health, relationships, and emotional well-being.
  3. Designed– The Designed Life is about living intentionally so we can succeed both in business and in life, including the full range of relationships and activities that matter most.

Any guess as to which  approach is more likely to get you where you want to go?

025 Lift MentorIn this fallen world we live in, you have to be intentional in order to get what you really want from life. There may be some rare exceptions, but there are millions (billions?) of examples of casualties.  And since you only have one precious life, it makes sense to take the high probability approach. If that’s true, then why don’t more people choose that route? Good question and one we can only guess at. Perhaps because it takes awareness, time, effort, intention……the list goes on.

Since we’ll never the answer to the question above, a better question is one you can know the answer to: Which approach to life are you going to take this year?

While you may not hit your target exactly and a lot of grace will still be required along the way, choosing to live a Designed life will most definitely will get you closer to what you want out of life.

Please leave a comment and let me know which “D” will you be living out of in 2016, what best next-step you’re going to take to get started, and what you need to get there.

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3 Sure-Fire Ways to Realize Your Biggest Dream or Beat Your Biggest Challenge

Few things are as frustrating as committing to something you really enjoy, knowing it will benefit you greatly, and failing to follow-through…..and then not knowing why it happened or how to fix it.

That happened to me in 2014. I love to read but realized I was doing less and less of it. So I set a goal and committed to reading at least 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week. I thought I had the perfect way of making it happen with essentially NET (No Extra Time): just go to bed 30 minutes earlier and incorporate it into my bed-time routine. What seemed to be a “brilliant” strategy at the beginning of the year was anything but that. Instead, it became a constant source of frustration as the year wore on.

Regardless, I kept on on pounding the proverbial “rock” thinking persistence would pay-off. There always seemed to be a valid reason or excuse when reading didn’t happen (which was often). And the few times I was willing to admit I just busted I usually rationalized to the category of “justified exception”. The problem was that the results…..the goods…..were still the same: reading wasn’t happening.

No matter how brilliant the plan, when what you’re doing isn’t getting you the results you want it’s time to change. Despite my best intentions, I only read a pitiful total of 21 books in 2014.

Clearly, I needed to change something. When it comes to the science of achievement, behavior change and habit, taking a solution focused approach  is often more effective than trying to overanalyze what went wrong.  That’s exactly what I did this past year. By adapting and using the 3 steps below, I was able to exponentially move the needle on my reading in 2015. Total number of books read in 2015 (and counting)? Seventy, and I plan to hit 75 before December 31st.0061GetWhatWant II

I’m convinced these same 3 steps that helped me can help you achieve whatever you want in 2016:

  1. Get Focused and Clear– Determine what it is you really want and just as importantly, your powerful, passionate “Why.” Willpower will get you going; only your “Why” will keep you going. In my case, I realized that more reading was an absolute requirement if I wanted to take my leadership and influence with my company and those I care about most to the next level. It became a “must” for me instead of a “want to.”
  2. Get The Best–  Get the best tools, mentors, coaches, and resources you can afford.  For me, this meant taking another speed reading course. I’ve taken several in the past and was skeptical about taking yet another. However, one of my sons had just completed one and couldn’t stop raving about it.  It was clear he was getting results so I decided to take the plunge. It wasn’t expensive, so investing the time is what cost me the most…..and it was worth every minute.
  3. Get the Right Strategy– You can have the first two steps right but still not get what you want if your strategy doesn’t work. In my case, this step made the biggest impact of all. Jim Rohn said it best:  “You can’t head East and expect to catch the sunset; you’ll miss it everytime.”

As it turned out, my “brilliant” 2014 reading strategy was more focused on getting my reading done with NET time and not on my powerful “Why”. It was doomed to fail at the start because when bedtime rolled around I was already exhausted and any excuse was a good one. If I did crack open a book, it just put me out that much quicker.

A strategy that did work was to build reading into the first 15 minutes of my work following my morning ritual  and the first 15 minutes right after lunch. It wasn’t NET time, but it was still efficient and accomplished what I wanted by optimizing my energy and priorities while minimizing the opportunities for excuses and barriers.  My morning reading was much more consistent than after lunch, but regardless, I got a lot of reading done.  The strange thing was that with this routine, make-up reading at bedtime actually became easy because I already had built-in momentum, confidence and interest in what I was reading.

When it comes to strategy, make sure to notice the results you’re getting and if they aren’t what you want, adjust accordingly.

The three steps above are part of what Tony Robbins promotes for creating lasting change. While they are common-sense and effective for helping you achieve what matters, they don’t seem to be common practice.

Which of these 3 steps I have you overlooked, are stepping over or need to adjust in order to achieve the results  you want in 2016?

Please leave a comment, I’d love to learn.

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3 Imposters To Happiness: How to Recognize Them and Why It Matters To You

What really makes someone happy?  What makes you happy?  In fact, what is happiness in the first place?

The questions above started rolling around in my mind after my most recent post on “How To Know Your Powerful WHY….” and while on our family vacation.  After all, when you’re on vacation  your supposed to be happy, right?

Although happiness is a good thing, it can be confused with words for other positive experiences we seek, like:

  • Pleasure– A feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment (the implication is that it is brief).
  • Satisfaction– The fulfillment or gratification of a desire, need or an appetite (all of which return relatively soon).
  • Fulfillment– The achievement or satisfaction of something desired, promised or predicted (there is a discreteness and completeness implied).

I find two things worth noting in these definitions: 1. Each definition includes one of the other words in the list; 2. Time and sense of accomplishment is a differentiator, both in how long it takes to achieve each one and how long each is experienced. It makes sense to me when I read it here and think about it; not so much in the moment.

Although each of the three experiences listed above can contribute to the happiness we experience, they aren’t happiness.  When we misjudge in this area, it can lead to unrealistic expectations about happiness in general and our own personal happiness in particular. That also happens when happiness is pursued as an end in and of itself instead of a by-product of other sources.

Ok, “so what?” Good question.  The actions we take in pursuing each of these other experiences are typically different, as are the outcomes….and ultimately the destiny they produce. Interestingly and paradoxically, when these are mistaken for “happiness”  and pursued as such, the end of the journey often leads to the exact opposite outcome: a whole lot of unhappiness.

Language is how we ascribe meaning to what we experience. Having a broader…and more accurate….vocabulary helps better define what we are dealing with as well as gives richness and intensity to what we are able to experience.  Just as importantly, it also allows us us set realistic expectations and make good decisions that ultimately will get us what we really want and where we really want to go.

What words do you use to describe describe your pleasurable moments? Perhaps more importantly, will what your doing now get you what you really want….in the long-run? If not, what needs to be different?

Because happiness one of those topics that we think of as rather nebulous and fuzzy we, often aren’t clear on what we’re chasing….which is why we end up disappointed so often.  Leave a comment, I’d love to get your thoughts.

Now that I’ve talked about what happiness isn’t, it’s time to talk more about what happiness really is and how to get more of it. More to come on Happiness :).

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8 Ways to Tell Who Has A GSD Degree And Why It Matters

When we see credentials behind someone’s name we are often immediately impressed. Letters like PhD, MD, PT and others indicate academic, clinical  professional achievement and grab our attention; especially if there are many and begin to string out like Campbells’ alphabet soup.  But how impressed with highly credentialed or “lettered” people should we be?

I have to admit that growing up as kid and well into my early career, lettered people impressed me. If a person had letters behind their name (take your pick, whatever letters you want), they had my attention.  In my mind, a lettered person was by nature a superior performer so I always became very deferential to them.

Even though I became a physical therapist (PT) and earned my own professional “letters” at age 22, I continued to be highly impressed with lettered people. However, as I began to work with these folks, began to lead them and then earned a bunch more letters myself (in additions to my PhD, at one time I held a total of 8), my view of lettered people became more tempered and aligned with reality.

There is no question that for work in selected fields, especially those highly technical in nature, specialized training resulting in a degree is necessary. But that is just the ante to get in the game. To be a real game changer you have to have your GSD (Get Stuff Done) degree.

The only pre-admission requirements for a GSD degree are a willingness to work, learn, get messy, had have a “move it forward” attitude. There are a variety of schools that offer the degree (including the School of Hard Knocks),  limitless locations and settings.  One problem is that you don’t get any pretty letters to go behind your name when you graduate, so how can you tell who has a GSD degree? The content from my last C12 meeting laid them out perfectly.

People with their GSD degree:

  1. Perceive themselves as responsible to the customer- they solve problems and deliver value.
  2. Sense a direct financial connection to the results of their work- they have an owners mentality whether they are an owner or not.
  3. Never think, “it’s not my job.”- they step-up, do what it takes, and don’t always have to be told what to do.
  4. Exhibit personal responsibility.- their general attitude is “if it’s to be, it’s up to me.” They’re committed to improving and growing, and taking calculated risks.
  5. Pursue continuing education and training- They’re committed to lifelong learning and continuous improvement in serving their internal and external customers.
  6. Don’t just work at something, but continually reflect on it-  they exhibit curiosity and ongoing inquiry with an endless quest for insight and understanding.
  7. Seek personal growth, not just promotions- their goal is to become better a professional as well as a better person.
  8. Behave as if “self-employed.”- they “own it” and  know the more professional they are the more value they add to themselves and those they serve.

Just as important as being able to tell who has a GSD degree is knowing why it’s important. When you want something done, it actually has to get done in order to “get done”…and it needs to be done the right way, often at the right time and most of the time when you aren’t around. You can’t afford to settle and mistake activity for accomplishment. Just because someone has letters behind their name does not mean they can generate the passion, responsibility, grit and drive to execute and see a job through to completion.

Too often we are enamored by and look immediately to the most credentialed person while overlooking the importance and value brought to the table by someone who has their GSD degree. In many cases a less credentialed person (sometimes much less) with a GSD degree is a much better choice.

Who on your staff, in your organization or in your family has a GSD degree?  Make sure you can put a face with name when you answer that question and then consider if you’re giving them the consideration they deserve. Do you have your GSD degree? If you’re reading this post it’s likely you do. If not or it’s incomplete, there’s never a better time than the present to get started; class is always open.

Which of the 8 GSD qualifications are exhibited regularly by you or those you lead and which to you want to see more of?

Please leave a comment if there are other signs that help you recognized someone with a GSD degree and perhaps more importantly, what you’ve found to be effective for facilitating a GSD mindset and behaviors. We would all love to hear.

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6 Ways To Overcome Resistance To Get What You Want

Last year I became more aware of how often people say that want something but then fail to act on it.  Part of what caught my attention was how frequently it occurred with my coaching clients…even high achievers; maybe people like you?

The other thing that caught my attention was when I took a look at myself….through the lens of my task list in Nozbe. Why had some simple tasks tasks taking less than 15 minutes to complete not yet been done?  Since this seems to be a universal experience, the next shoe to drop was the question “Why?”

Not getting everything done on your task list happens to everyone and isn’t a big deal. What was a big deal was how some of my tasks had been carried over from week to week, a few from the previous month and a couple from….well, let’s just say a long time.  I then recalled that I had this same experience with some important goals of mine, which took the topic beyond just getting my attention. It now it had my focus.

Moving my focus from the “What” to the “Why?” of this kind of procrastination, I was reminded of this simple fact: in any area of life in which I want to accomplish or change something, I’m never gonna feel like it….all the time. This is especially the case with things that require short-term discomfort for long-term benefit.  Instead, I want to hit my inner snooze alarm. The other fact is that when I’m trying to accomplish a new skill or change behavior I’m a novice, which means making frequent mistakes and continually experiencing the unfamiliar, neither of which are much fun.  The third is a factor called “The Resistance”, or just “Resistance” for short.

When you experience Resistance first-hand you wonder how the heck it can be so powerful and at times pervasive. Part of the reason is that people are unaware and it goes unrecognized.  Steven Pressfield has done a great job of describing Resistance in his book The War of Art if you want to know more. While Resistance may be simple to identify, it’s hard to overcome.

First, recognize Resistance for what it is and adopt a mindset that you will often have force yourself to get started in order to get what you want. It won’t be fun, isn’t always easy, but it is very simple: just DO SOMETHING!  Here are are 6 practical and simple ways that have helped me force myself to get started, get some traction and overcome Resistance:

  • 4 Second Pause– Put a gap between your response to whatever stimulated you in the first place. This may seem counterintuitive since I just talked about doing something. But for many of us, our immediate words and deeds are often based on habit or in response to our emotions.
  • 5 second rule- When you get an impulse to do something you want and need to do, take some action on it within 5 minutes….anything, writing it down, list your steps, make a call, etc. Simple movement toward what you want harnesses your mindset with your physiology and moves you to action. Wait any longer and your brain’s processing will essentially pull the emergency brake and you likely won’t do anything.
  • 2 minute rule-  A staple of David Allen’s GTD system. Once you know something needs to be done, ask yourself if you can accomplish it in 2 minutes or less. If so, just do it (whatever “it” is).

Three other ways for overcoming resistance (taken from Mel Robbins TEDx lecture “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over”) include getting:

  • Out of your head- Take control of your self-talk instead of it talking control of you.
  • Past your feelings- Experience your feelings, but don’t listen to them; tell them where you’re going to go and they will follow (sometimes kicking and screaming, but eventually they will get in line).
  • Outside your comfort zone– As Michael Hyatt says, the really important stuff in life happens here and if your going to accomplish something significant, you’re going to spend a lot of time here, so get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Or, as one of my kids learned to say after they joined the military, learn to “embrace the Suck”.

Finally, even if something seems risky and uncertain, if want it, you’re called to it, then go for it and “Just Do It”.  Michelle Cushatt has listed at least 3 lessons and benefits of letting go and diving in.

054 Resistance IIOk, now that you know what Resistance is and how to overcome it, there is still one thing you need in order to get what you want: get over the satisfaction that you know what to do. Knowing isn’t doing. You have to take action and find out what works best for you. Knowledge isn’t power, making the right decisions coupled with action is.

Are you getting what you want these days? if not, what the next best step you could take to get you moving in the right direction? If your making progress, have you used any of these six techniques or others not listed here that have been helpful? Please leave a comment, I’d love to learn more about your success and so would others.