Have you ever had the unexpected or unwelcome occur at the most inopportune time and render you at a loss for words or ability to react…the way you need to? That’s part of the problem with unexpected events: we don’t see them coming and they always seem arrive at the worst time!

Why self-management is important

Life isn’t always fair and at some point we all get hammered with the:

• Unexpected
• Unwelcome
• Overwhelming

The key difference between people with a high level of self-management and everyone else is that the former are able to process and express the emotions that arise from these experiences at the right time, in the right way and with the right people; they don’t let their emotions just spill over the dam so to speak.  Instead, they’ve learned to self-manage their emotions and are able to “go with the flow” and “roll with the punches”. They’ve learned how to make changes and intelligent adjustments, regardless of whether the seas around them are calm or raging, which in turn leads to a competitive advantage in today’s ever changing organizational environments and business markets

Self-Management allows for transparency and authenticity, in particular with regard to one’s feelings, beliefs, values and action. Being able to interpret and plan actions with regard to one’s deepest held attributes empowers impulse control and keeps us from acting in ways we would later regret.  All of these attributes fuel and underlie integrity.  The end result is that other people who encounter a person high in self-management sense that he or she is the “genuine article” and someone who can be trusted.

How do I grow my self-management ability?

Becoming aware of your emotions and gaining control of how you respond to them is the basis for good emotional hygiene. It can’t be faked either; people will see right through a poser.  In order to be authentic, it starts with a high level of self-awareness and is cultivated through evaluated practice…..which means you need feedback.

How does your self-management sit with you?  May be more importantly, what would those closest to you say about your level of self-management?  Taking an honest estimate (or assessment) of your self-management ability and where others perceive you to be can be an intimidating task even for the boldest among us. But if you choose to step-up, the benefit can be huge: you’ll know what the gap looks like, can proactively begin to bridge it, and build up your self-management “muscle”.

Why self-awareness is the secret

It begins with self-awareness. We have to know where we are at emotionally before we can do anything meaningful about it. While most of us may never have to make a huge withdrawal from our emotional reserves like Captain Sullenberger did in order to save US Airways Flight 1549 and all aboard, we all need enough self-awareness and self-management ability in order to cover the debits that hit our account daily.  As leaders, we need much more in order to lead ourselves and others well.

Do you have what you need? If not, what’s your next best step?
Rob