Category Archives: Balance

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Are You Letting The Right Ball(s) Drop?

Do you have more than one priority, want, need or responsibility? If you answered no, you have a different problem and this post won’t make a difference….make an appointment with the right professional asap!

Often times just managing one item in each of the categories listed above is hard to do. But the reality is that most of us have a LOT of items in each category at any given time. Multi-tasking is proving to be a myth, with time-slicing and attention shifting being the reality of how we handle or juggle things. No, you can’t do it all perfectly all the time. Sometimes things get dropped

Our lives often seem to be akin to walking on a balance beam while juggling A LOT of balls. Some balls are rubber…these are the things that don’t have a lasting impact or us or others within our sphere of influence. Some balls are glass…these are the things that do have a lasting impact or us or others within our sphere of influence. When the rubber balls get dropped, it may be inconvenient but they bounce and can be picked up and put back in orbit. However, when a glass ball drops it is going to be damaged, if not destroyed. Even if you are able that ball back into orbit, the sharp edges are going to make keeping it there a painful process for you to one degree or another.043 GlassBalls2

Let’s face it: sometimes one or more balls are going to drop. So which one will it be, rubber or glass? It’s obvious that most people don’t want their glass balls to drop and get damaged, but the reality is that they often do. To keep that from happening, you have to be able to be able to identify which balls are which; not always so easy and it’s  different for everyone.

Although there is no magic formula, Andy Stanley has done a good job of describing one way to know which balls are which and how to be intentional about the ones you are going to let drop (available both as a book and podcast) While he uses a different metaphor (calls it “Cheating” vs “ball dropping”), the concept is the same.

Regardless of what you call it, make sure you are being intentional about what you let drop and what you keep in orbit; the outcome will be more of what you want and the collateral damage much less.

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You Can Do Anything You Want, But………

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You can do anything you want, you just can’t do everything you want. “No” is a complete sentence: no explanation needed.

I love coming across pearls of truth like the one above where a ton of wisdom is packed into just a few words. To me it is kind of like a zip file; once you access it the content expands and becomes actionable.

I can’t remember exactly where I came across the advice in the first paragraph of this post, but am pretty sure it was when listening to Michael’s podcast on How to Regain Interior Margin Through the Practice of Stillness. Regardless, check out the podcast because he addresses one aspect of the topic of Margin in a very practical way. He also has a number of other posts that speak to the subject and Dr. Richard Swenson has written about extensively.

Getting clear on your Margin gives you the space and breathing room to pursue the important (ie. your Mission) and not get derailed by the urgent. It also allows you to set realistic expectations…including “stretch” expectations……on what you can and can’t get done.

I’ve come to the realization that while you can progressively improve in your battle for Margin, it’s better thought of as a daily practice rather than a fight that is won. When I view building Margin in my life as a destination point rather than an ongoing process requiring deliberate practice, I set up an unrealistic expectation and get frustrated.

Victories in our respective battles for reclaiming Margin are sometimes measured in inches (or rather seconds) and the battle lines ebb and flow. How would you measure your Margin right now and where would you put your line?

Don’t compare yourself to others, that usually leaves you with either a false sense of elation or frustrated, neither of which is good. We each have our unique capacity for work and requirements for Margin. How do you know when you have what you need? I gave two examples in a prior post that may help you answer that question in the area of your time and finances.

Here are two things to remember: no one is going to walk up and give you more Margin and no one cares more about your Mission than you do. Here are four questions that can help you get clear on your “M&M’s” (Margin & Mission) and take action:

  • What do you need to stop doing to move you toward your desired outcome?
  • What are you doing that if you did less of it, or stopped it altogether, would move you toward your desired outcome?
  • What are you doing that if you did more of it, would move you toward your desired outcome
  • What you not doing, that if you started it, would move you toward your desired outcome?

*For the last two questions, if you are already stretched you have to give up something before you add anything else.

Remember, you can do anything you want, you just can’t do everything you want. Knowing what you need to do in order to get the Margin you need for renewal and pursuit of the important things in your life is key. That awareness will allow you to move from
being scattered, overextended and fried to focused, right-sized and effective. And enjoying it in the process.

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I would love to hear what is working for you as well as what you are struggling with. I bet we all have a lot more in common in this area than we think and the dialogue could really help move the needle forward for everyone.

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Unique To You!

Don’t give up what is unique to you for something someone else will do.” ~friend of Andy Stanley

I love quotes because they often capture more meaning and content and express it with greater clarity than do page upon pages of script or the windy words of someone’s monologue. Those two things  often end up only blowing you away, resulting in more cognitive dissonance.

You have unique talents and gifts. You have unique relationships and influence.  Taken together, they define the things that you…. and only you….are able to “do”. On the other hand, there are roles and responsibilities that you hold…usually related to position and title…that one day, someone else will hold.  One day you will either change jobs (willing or unwilling) or retire and someone else is going to replace you in these areas. That is simply a fact….for all of us.

Yet way too often we give up our unique roles that no one can fill for those activities (read: job)  we know for certain one day someone else will fill. This leaves a void and a loss of value for both for us and those we serve when we fully live in that unique role.

All of us have responsibilities at work, in community and with family that we have to connect and make work together. In fact, these are often synergistic, which is ideal… like generating work income that then provides family needs. The problem arises when imbalance or even conflict between them occurs….and we know that naturally seems to happen at some point, more frequently it seems as we get older (or more “mature”).  Which is where the rub lies. So, what’s the answer?

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Clarity is where it begins. You’re probably very clear on what you have to do for your job and likely even have your title on your business card. But are you as clear on “what is unique to you?” as you are about your “Work” work? If you don’t have clarity on your unique role, how can you be intentional and excel in it? Furthermore, how will you make the hard decision when conflict arises?

How are you doing with what is unique to you as well as with the stuff that someday, someone else will do? If you aren’t where you want to be in this regard, then perhaps the next action you should consider is to make a move in the direction of getting clarity.

Rob