I remember as a physical therapist getting energized after learning key signs and symptoms to classify and treat a disorder using a matched, highly effective intervention technique. It was a pretty empowering feeling…..until the first time I went through the process with a real patient; then it felt pretty clunky the first few times.
Whether it’s physical therapy, coaching, accounting, or any other field, learning new tools and approaches can be difficult and frustrating initially. This is where having a practical framework for action is invaluable to trim the learning curve and help you go higher, farther and faster.
Managing yourself and learning to shift from Drama back to Presence is no different. The issue isn’t will you drift or how often. You will Drift, that’s a given. The real issue is how quickly can you can shift to Presence once you do Drift.
Shifting from Drift and Drama back to Presence only becomes possible when you arrive at the “Choice Point”. The “Choice Point” in a given circumstances is the magical moment when you’ve had enough pain and get a glimpse of your reality. It’s that inkling of awareness that tells you shifting from the roles of the DDT to the Orientation of the TED will serve your best interests the best interests of those around you. It usually starts with moving from a Victim role to a Creator Orientation. You change the way you see yourself and the way you see others; not so you can change them, but so you can change yourself. How do you practically…..I mean nuts and bolts….do that?
Here are the 3 Steps to Shift from Drift to Presence:
- First – tell yourself the full truth about your current reality. This could be yourself, your situation, someone else or a combination of these. Don’t deny, minimize or rationalize it away; don’t make it any better….or worse…than it really is. In other words, take life as it is, not as you want it to be. It’s simple, yet often hard and sometimes scary to do. This is the hardest step, yet once you take it you become grounded and know where your working from.
Taking the first step sometimes requires a “jolt” or interruption of your system. This may come from others but there are some ways to “jolt’ yourself, which include: focused breathing, cultivating curiosity, asking yourself powerful questions (i.e. “where is that coming from?”) and simply exaggerating or changing posture are a few.
- Second- this is critical: instead of dwelling or obsessing on what you don’t want, decide and focus on what you really do want for yourself, others or the situation.
- Third- determine the next immediate baby action step you need to take to move in that direction. A baby step is simply an incremental act that inches you just a bit closer to what you really want. It’s also something only you can do and is 100% within your control…even if it’s simply choosing your attitude.
The crazy thing is that when you shift, it not only gets you out of the DDT and into TED, but it seems to send an open invitation to the twin sisters of sisters of Synchronicity and Serendipity: unpredictable and spontaneous events and/or people that just seem to “happen” or “show up” when you need it most. Just like after taking the first step to Shift, the following steps to who you really want to be and where you really want to go come much easier and faster.
We all drift from presence and must consciously “Shift” to get back to it. When you Drift, how do you Shift?
Heaven knows we all need more Shift and less Drift so please leave a comment and share some of your own “Shift Moves.”